A Blog I'd Like to Share...

I try almost every day to check out my favorite blog, Fiber Arts hosted by the Albany Times Union which is the Capital Region's local newspaper in my home state of New York.  I grew up in Troy, NY, right outside of Albany.  And I try almost every morning to pop over to the blog to read what's happening in the region in regards to the fiber community, which I've become increasingly interested in these last few years. 

Today's post was as informative as always, but the closing of the post today caught my attention:

From the Fiber Arts Blog - This Just In... March 18, 2011 by Ellen R. Margulies:  I’ll close today’s post with a lovely story from Lisa B. Adams. I found Lisa’s blog through Twitter (more about that next week) and her posts about her battle with cancer, her family life and dealing with loss and grief are powerful and so well written.

This week Lisa’s post about her mom and daughter knitting, obviously struck a chord with me. I’m sure it will with you too. Please go here and enjoy.

The mention of Lisa's posting of her battle with cancer definitely struck a chord with me and so I clicked the link to read the most poignant story I've read in a long time, it brought tears to my eyes and a flood of memories of my Dad who I lost to respiratory failure in September 2007 from a malignant tumor in his throat. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to deal with this crippling disease I only know what it was like to watch someone I loved who was the strongest person in my life be brought down by it.

My Uncle Charles (left) and my Dad (right) - December 2006

Reading about her mom and daughter knitting together, made me think of all the things my Dad and I did together as well as the time he spent with my son, Aiden.  He was "Poppa" to Aiden and they were very close, even with 3,000 miles between us, they talked on the phone often and whenever he came for a visit during the summers they would sneak off together and do "guy stuff".  I know Aiden misses him, but hope that many wonderful memories of the times they had together will bring him joy and peace when he thinks of his Poppa. 

Aiden was twelve when Poppa went into the hospital that final time.  We flew out immediately when we got the call.  And the six and half hour voyage was the most intense time in my life.  I didn't know what I would find at the end of it and I was really surprised to see my bigger than life Dad lying so still in his hospital bed hooked to a breathing machine.  He had to be given doses of morphine for the pain at regular intervals and it saddened me to know that he was losing his battle to this disease and he had called all his children to his bed to say 'good-bye'. 

I regret that I didn't allow Aiden to see him in his last days, I thought he was too young and I feared that what he saw in that hospital bed would be the only thing he remembered about his Poppa.  But at twelve years old my son was braver than I gave him credit for.  He told me on the plane ride home that he understood what was happening to Poppa and that he just wanted to say good-bye in his own way. I'm sorry I never gave him that chance, but I'm glad he was there to meet all those who knew his Poppa and hear all the stories of the man he was.  Aiden was my rock all throughout the funeral and he made me so proud when he looked out for his younger cousins who didn't understand what was going on.

We talk often of the adventures we had with Poppa, including the 3,000 mile trek across the northern part of the US from New York to Washington, about the stops we made along the way, all the unusual and beautiful sites we encountered.  How at six years old he got to sit in the front seat of Poppa's F150 truck and talk about the things that interested him and how Poppa listened intently to what he had to say.


Aiden & Dad Summer 2003 - First visit home (Troy, NY)
after moving to Washington in 2001

I know the Summer of 2003 will always be a memorable summer for Aiden.  I flew him out to New York to spend six-weeks with Uncle Scotty and Poppa.  Aiden had a blast, he went to visit his cousins in Maryland and Virginia, hung out with his older cousin Tent who lived downstairs from Poppa.  Poppa took him fishing and even bought him a brand new bike to ride to keep him from getting bored on his visit. And at the end of the summer Poppa flew him back to Washington, because I couldn't afford to fly back to NY to bring Aiden home, and Dad didn't like the idea of Aiden flying alone on the way back.

These memories are what bring me happiness and smiles in those dark moments when I realize I can't pick up the phone and call Dad just to tell him the latest news in Aiden's sports exploits or just to chat about what's happening in my life or what's going on in his life.  I miss him dearly and we should all cherish the moments we have with the ones we love.  In closing, I'd like anyone and everyone who is dealing with loss and/or grief to check out Lisa B. Adam's blog - she not only talks about her battle with cancer, but she talks about the changes you go through in life when you're dealing with grief and/or loss or fighting a debilitating disease, she talks about life, love, family and hope.

In loving memory of Lester Tucker

June 12, 1942 - September 4, 2007